afrodisiac

honestly, i feel like a bunch of dumb ass who really don’t know what to do and practically my dysfunctional nerves are craving for some receptors to move. oh God..what has happened to me??? am i insane????? empty..solely empty. spiritually and mentally empty. so empty as if i’m heartless. only tears consoles me. faith? i don’t have faith. God? i don’t turn to God for anything. i turn all of it to myself. no one hears my torment. i’ve got my inside killed by an enormous power. it is destructive. i’m destroyed. so powerful as i feel like a lost battling with that great power. no one can help me, even my fam, my syg, or my friends. syg..your purpose is to donate me your love and cherish me in whenever i’m down. your not the one who fills up my emptiness. my fam..you guys are my great supporters. thank you so much and i love y’all. but alas, i still feel empty. my friends out there..you guys are rawkin’ my life! so great to know you people. making some fun, sharing laugh and tears together..there are all awesome! but nahh..i still feel empty. once i had a thought that i should end my improper life and make a change. all i need is an effortless effort by me. yea..all by myself. time..i need some time. not sure for how long it would be.

and umm..i ask for a break. is this the right moment??? oh dearrrr..my mind is ultimately going to blow up soon..!! everythings went wrong, i don’t feel anything.. H.E.A.R.T.L.E.S.S.. as if i don’t have my own soul anymore. what a problemo. i need to fix this soon.

today is palm sunday and yet, i don’t have a heart for it. still, i tried my best to build up my faith again. God..you know me well. sorry for neglecting you all this while. i’m not as good as you seen. look! i’m a great sinner. there’s no doubt about it. most of my friends (you know yourself well) has changed and be a lot better in this Christianity thingy while me???? I’M NOT, OKAI! i’m weak. i’m lost. i’m in desperation. i’m longing for something..and its YOU. i need time, lots and lots of time to make a recovering. God..forgive all my sins. bless me in whatever i do and accept my repentance. Amennn..

gurlssss, which do you guys prefer?????

I”M DEAD. ou yeap.. i have died internally. major cause of death:: uncontrollable bleeding of heart..KECEWA to be exact. don’t know why. it felt so sudden, all this emotional breakdown.. ohh..stupid!